had a chat with an old friend and we were reminiscing the good old days. brought me back to memory lane where everything is so familiar. conversation of what was life back then and how it has changed now, the usual exchange of souvenirs, our petty differences, the number and our shared "Credo".

the "Credo" which speaks of our need to be understood and to be accepted.

A Credo for My Relationships with Others

You and I are in a relationship which I value and want to keep. We are also two separate persons with our own individual values and needs.

So that we will better know and understand what each of us values and needs, let us always be open and honest in our communication.

When you are experiencing a problem in your life, I will try to listen with genuine acceptance and understanding in order to help you find your own solutions rather than imposing mine. And I want you to be a listener for me when I need to find solutions to my problems.

At those times when your behavior interferes with what I must do to get my own needs met, I will tell you openly and honestly how your behavior affects me, trusting that you respect my needs and feelings enough to try to change the behavior that is unacceptable to me. Also, whenever some behavior of mine is unacceptable to you, I hope you will tell me openly and honestly so I can try to change my behavior.

And when we experience conflicts in our relationship, let us agree to resolve each conflict without either of us resorting to the use of power to win at the expense of the other's losing. I respect your needs, but I also must respect my own. So let us always strive to search for a solution that will be acceptable to both of us. Your needs will be met, and so will mine--neither will lose, both will win.

In this way, you can continue to develop as a person through satisfying your needs, and so can I. Thus, ours can be a healthy relationship in which both of us can strive to become what we are capable of being. And we can continue to relate to each other with mutual respect, love and peace.

Dr. Thomas Gordon

hmmm... so easy to say

a long overdue post

i was just reminded that it's the season once again. and like what i wrote last year, i don't exactly look forward to it. i feel more lethargic. like, i want to go some place else and just wait till it's 2009. so 2009, please hurry up.

yey, i'm going to buy that red laptop bag today. better hurry up!
thanks to The Seeker who inspires me, love those shoes.

i started reading cecelia ahern when brother vince lend me a copy of Rosie Dunne. i love the story that i bought a copy for my boyfriend as a gift. i am indeed a cecelia ahern loyal fan, i have copies of all her books, watched P.S. I love You and Samantha Who as well.

Rosie Dunne reminds me of the exchange of text messages, e-mails, conversations I had with Elias. (or should i say, i was reminded of Rossie Dunne when i had an unending exchange of messages with Elias, since the book came first before the bf). P.S. I Love You is a light and heart warming read. If You Could See Me Now is an interesting reminder of our imaginary friend. and A Place Called Here has been a favorite phrase since I first read it. i have been waiting for a copy of Thanks for the Memories since i first heard about it in her website, imagine how excited i was when i finally have a copy.

"Joyce nearly lost everything else, a marriage in pieces and lost her baby. but she survived the terrible accident and now, inexplicably, she can remember faces she has never seen, cobblestone Parisian streets she's never visited. a sudden, overwhelming sense of deja vu have Joyce feeling as if her life is not her own. Justin, on the other hand, decides to donate blood, the first thing to come straight from his heart in a long time. from a failed marriage, he chased his ex-wife and daughter from chicago to london. and now, restless & tired, he lectures college students in dublin. everything changed with arrival of anonymous presents that will launch Justin into a heart of mystery and forever alter two lives."

the story, i must say, is predictable and it's not as interesting as the other books. but, i so love the cover and like i said, i am an unconditional ahern fan. this doesn't stop me from looking forward to reading The Gift which is already available in UK. i wonder when i can find it in the local store, ahhh..

thanks for the memories... "how is it possible to know someone you've never met?"

drink responsibly, it's a global thing

during our busiest days, time seems never enough. we, often times, hope we can freeze time and try to grasp the seconds. we move too fast.

celebrating life every day, everywhere.

i'm loving every day. i'm energized with every new discovery. i'm proud of where i belong. i look forward to destination 2011. cheers!

"what is IS, and no amount of gnashing teeth on my part will change that."

i have been anticipating the release of the 3rd book of the inheritance cycle since i read "Eldest". imagine my joy when i finally got a hardbound copy of the book.

it's "unputdownable". an-almost-750 pages-book-of-several-events-and-action. i was disappointed though because i expected that this will be the last book. apparently, another book is coming

i like the series, named my car "Saphira" after Eragon's dragon.

This award is made for those bloggers that you really love.Rule:· LINK THE PERSON WHO STARTED THIS AWARD (That's ♥GEnYZe♥)· Link to the person who "LOVE" you (It's autumn dream)·
Post the rules on your blog (this is what you are now reading).· Tag 7 people at the end of your post and link to them..· Let each person know they have been "LOVED" and leave a comment on their blog...
I'm spreading the LOVE to the following:

in preparation for my job interviews, i have been reading the-so-called-serious-books lately. not fiction this time, maybe while i am busy looking for better opportunity. now, discover your strengths by Marcus Buckingham talks about each person's greatest room for growth which is in the areas of his strengths. and so, i decided to take the exam honestly. this i discover -- one of my strengths is adaptability.

Adaptability - you live in the moment. you don't see the future as a fixed destination. instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. this doesn't mean that you don't have plans. you probably do. adaptabilitydoes enable you to respond willingly to demands of the moment even pull you away from your plans. you don't resent sudden requests or unforeseend detours. you expect them. they are inevitable. indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them, you are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.

and as for my applications, i have my final interview tomorrow. if i got this job, it will be a 360 degrees change in environment but a great opportunity for me to grow. let's see.. what will be, will be. sounds Adaptability to me, cheers!

saw this couple in caleruega, batangas

"and where is the line between romantic and delusional?

and how do you know once you cross the set line?

do we live in the world we physically touch?

or do we live in the world created by our minds?"

while waiting for elias, i spent time in a bookstore and got myself 2 books. one, the prince by niccolo machiavelli and james patterson's new book Sundays at Tiffany's. it was probably the after-effect of cecilia ahern's if you could see him now which made me bought this book. these books were about kid's imaginary friend. with such interests, i probably have one imaginary friend as a kid. was he Ivan or Michael?

children have imaginary friends to help them find their place in the world. if once in my childhood, i had one. i believe that today my imaginary friend is myself. the difference is unlike imaginary friends who will leave you once you turned nine-year old, i don't.

as for the book, i'm still half way reading it. so far, i like the story. a simple sweet love story which says Love means you can never be apart.

In usual conversations, our boss would tell us story about his youngest child. We end up telling him that he is his favorite which he constantly denies having a favorite child and that he loves them all equally. Parents will never admit having a favorite child. Do they really have one or we just thought so.

All I know is that I am never the favorite child. I am the distant one, the Rebel and the unattached. But, I must say, I am the favorite granddaugther.

and the question is, did she get the ice cream?

so many things to do, so little time

I have always loved Serendipity for many different reasons. I personally believe that it is the most romantic movie of this era. It has the-music-to-my ears movie soundtrack. And I love the word itself. "Serendipity. It's one of my favorite words. It's such a nice sounding word for what it means: a fortunate accident."

While driving, the movie soundtrack was playing in the background. And suddenly my attention was caught by the message of the song "This Year by Chantal Kreviazuk". Right there, I declared that this is my song. A personal affirmation that this year is my year.

This year, is gonna be incredible
This year, is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year, I'm gonna have fun
This year, I'll paint my masterpiece
This year, I'll be recognized
I can feel like I'll fall in love for real
This year, this year
January, I'll learn to fly
February, love's gonna find me
March, April, May, I'll get carried away
Oh, oh...This year, I'll reach the pinnacle
This year, I'll get to the top
People will ask where she get that energy
This year, I'm never gonna stop
I'm gonna have fun
Just watch me now
This year

true enough last year was a great year. i still believe that this year is my year. and for years to come, i will forever hold on to the song for my self -- this Year. And coincidently, Chantal Kreviazuk's birthday falls on May 18 as well c",)

as i wander around, i ask myself what's ahead of me. felt like i am a stranger in this world and often times i wonder if i belong here.

the journey seems endless. i don't want to go yet i never want to stay either. i am tired but i wanna move on.

... and to where these wings will take me, i hope one day i will finally find home.

Seeing the world through the eyes of a child where it was like seeing everything at the first time, where the world is peaceful, where we see beauty in all that we see, where nothing else matters but home.

received an email from one of my best friends on my birthday..

I almost lost all my files stored in my external drive. It had a malfunction which recovery of files is yet to be determined. I’m so stupid for not creating a back up file somewhere else. Blame it on my ignorance. Since the item is still on warranty, we were advised to wait for 2 weeks for the replacement. The warranty, however does not extend to recovery of files. Given that period, the agony of waiting , I hated technology for awhile. buti pa ang stone age!

I never like waiting. I rather know now and felt bad and be over it, than keeping a little hope and go through the agony of waiting and be disappointed in the end.

Just to conclude the story of my external drive, I decide to disregard the warranty. Instead, tried checking the usb connection by buying a new casing. Angels heard my prayers, it worked! Warranty gone but worth it.

there are times when we find ourselves yearning to fly, to discover. to begin the journey of discovery. in the end, realized that our wings are broken.

"the almost no one", one of life's distinct movements

travel differently, travel alone. i haven't tried that but maybe in time, i will

to all those who greeted me on my birthday, thank you so much!
to the person who greeted me at exactly 12 midnight of my birthday, thank you.

by Paulo Coelho

'you can give a fool a thousand intellects, but the only one he will want is yours', says an Arabic proverb. when we start planting the garden of our life, we glance to one side and notice our neighbor is there, spying. he himself is incapable of growing anything, but he likes to give advice on when to sow actions, when to fertilize thoughts, and when to water achievements.

if we listen to what this neighbor is saying, we will end up working for him, and the garden of our life will be our neighbor's idea. we will end up forgetting about the earth we cultivated with so much sweat and fertilized with so many blessings. we will forget that each centimetre of earth has its mysteries that only the patient hand of the gardener can decipher. we will no longer pay attention to the sun, the rain, and the seasons; we will concentrate instead only on that head peering at us over the hedge.

the fool who loves giving advice on our garden never tends his own plants at all.

In an attempt to analyze the several years of life and everything that goes with it, it dawned on me that it is best to be just in this moment. Gone are the times of looking back and looking forward. Now, it will only be NOW.

Life seems like an awkward mélange of heavy drama, zany comedy and boggling puzzles. I would like to believe that maybe this is a reflection of lethargy defined by age. It is time to detoxify my contaminated self.

Happy birthday to me. I love me always. Cheers!

Only recently, I posted about my reading someone else’ private blog. Can I help it? I hope I could. But prying someone else’s life is tempting. At first it was curiosity of wanting to know something, truth perhaps. It ended with the discovery that words are “just words”. Sometimes those sweet lines we read could cause heart ache (big time) and doubts. Doubts which we tend to ignore but exist deep within.

I once believed that a missing piece has finally been found. But, now I question the idea. Has it been found? Do we really search for that missing piece in the first place? How come we believe we have found it and then later on, we find it … the second time, third time ... again and again?!

Sweet lines. Does it make sense in the end? Does it really matter?

No one completes one person but himself. There is never a missing piece. These missing pieces are creation of our boggled imagination. There is no missing piece. We complete ourselves. No one else can.

As No one fits just right.

Life is not a song, life is not poetry. Life is reality and, reality is… it sucks most of the time.

be like the flowing river,
silent in the night.
be not afraid of the dark.
if there are stars in the sky, reflect them back.
if there are clouds in the sky,
remember, clouds, like the river, are water,
so, gladly reflect them too,
in your own tranquil depths.

manuel bandeira

The story is about a little wave, bobbling along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He’s enjoying the wind and the fresh air – until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.
“My God, this is terrible”, the wave says. “Look what’s going to happen to me.”

Then came along another wave, it sees the first wave looking grim, and it says to him. “Why do you look sad?” The first wave says, “You don’t understand. We’re all going to crash. All of us waves are going to be nothing. Isn’t it terrible?”

The second wave says, “No, you don’t understand. You’re not a wave, you’re part of the ocean.”

How many times did I pray
You'd find me
How many wishes on a star
Gazing off into the dark
Dreaming I'd see your face
Safe at home unafraid
Captured in your embrace

So many times
When my heart was broken
Visions of you
Would keep me strong
You were with me all along
Guiding my every step
You are all that I am
And I'll never

It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed

There were times
When I'd thought I'd lost you
Fearing forever was a dream
But it wasn't what it seemed
Placing your hand in mine
You could see in the dark
You were guiding my heart

"there were times when i'd thought i'd lost you. fearing forever was a dream..."

Dream of Me

Let me sleep
For when I sleep
I dream that you are here
You're mine
And all my fears are left behind
I float
On air
The nightingale sings gentle lullabies
So let me close my eyes

And sleep
A chance to dream
So I can see the face
I long to touch
To kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
So let The moon
Shine Softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He'll dream of me

I hide beneath the clouds
And whisper to the evening stars
They tell me love is just a dream away
A dream away

i so love this song

it was a cold december night, a drive home from where we had our dinner. one of the rarest occasion where we hide from reality. 1210 am as the car clock says. we were driving at 20 kph. silence. not with the usual song playing in the radio while we have our endless conversation. as the stop light turns red, he held my hand. not a word from either of us. i can hear my heart beat. i can hear his breathe. his hand held mine tightly as if to tell me the things he couldn't say. as if to tell me not to ask the questions he cannot answer. as if to tell me to just stop and just be in this moment. it seems wrong. it might hurt someone, probably me more than anyone yet i held on. waiting for that day. those dark eyes will haunt me forever

just another attempt of a vignette, nothing personal

seems it didn't belong to me in the first place

they say that to be successful and happy one must leave the baggage of the past behind. i totally agree! the thing is, i have totally forgotten nightmares of my past yet i can't seem to move on from discovering someone's past. internet is awesome, i saw old pictures not worth discovering and yet, it is ruining my days! silly, eh?

... somebody needs a little attitude change here...
"if you are interested is positive progress, success and happiness, you have to give up the baggage of the past and get on with life. one thought that makes it easy to throw away: it can never be changed. more energy should be devoted to living in the present with the acute awareness of our goals and to designing the future. forgive and forget with caution."

it was a mixed of science discovery and history for me; a visit to manila oceanarium, SM discovery and fort santiago. what a perfect way to spend a weekend! educational, eh?

"until the day that Korea becomes One"

"it is crazy to put on a brave face. trying hard to keep up the facade. if we can't tell each other our problems then who can we tell?"

watched i-witness last night, the feature documentary for their anniversary special was about filipinos in new york.. homeless, that is.. to quote -- "stark evidence that not everyone in America has achieved the American dream". they do not have the job to support their living.

Teddy, a Filipino in New York said something like: "there is no difference in living in a palace, in a condo or in a box (he was sleeping in a box in a cold sidewalk) as we all feel the same pain, the same heartaches and feel the same happiness as well."

Across the street, people are busy watching the lit-up windows and shop fronts, checking items in the night market. A woman with tied hair wearing cream pants and red knitted shirt, is carrying two large shopping paper bags, crossing to the opposite side of the road. She walks along by a restaurant named Serendipity with the smell freshly baked bread and aroma of brewed coffee. She was drawn to enter and then it occurs to her that this is the place where he first saw him. This is the place where they would spend hours of conversation, laughing, and sometimes just reading or studying. Hers is a book in literature while he solves his mathematics and physics problems. It has been 10 years from today. Everything was beautiful music back then.

She thought, why not? She had drive out here now and chances like this may never come again. She walks in and settled herself in a couch in the corner. Just for another little peek of this place, just her.

she woke up late and quickly prepared herself. nothing to think of but the journey ahead of her. driving her car in a ride that seems endless. she stopped at a coffee shop and bought a latte. and she started walking...

in nowhere's land. where bird and the wind is singing like an orchestra, a little loud that she could barely hear herself think. she stopped in the mountainside, amazed of the wonderful view in sight. the ground was soft, covered with layers of fallen leaves and pine cones. the towering trees tinted the sorrounding from the clear blue sky. "what a lovely sight & life this is" she said.

just when it was beginning to get dark, she walked back. stopped at the same coffee shop and grab another latte.

driving, she noticed the trees now by night darkened the heavens. the stars are twinkling or winking at her as if to share another secret: the art of enjoying solitude. she got her phone and called him... "i've got to move on. i've got to be on my own. goodbye."

you have to say goodbye with the same care as saying hello. you never know when you will be back. as for me, i never go back at all.

drinking a cup of coffee, he listened to the sound of the breeze of the morning while waiting for her. it was such a beautiful day. the waves of the ocean sings in a hymn as if it knows something wonderful is about to happen.

a man strolling with his dog. a couple watching the sun shines. some children playing in the sand, some happily enjoying the swim.

checking her watch from time to time, she couldn't figure out why he decided to meet her on such an early time. "and i can't get you out of my dreams, now i know you're a dangerous kind" was playing in the radio. a few cars in the road, making it easier for her to arrive on time.

red, yellow, orange, pink flowers are in bloom.. a cloudy but sunny day.

a perfect day.

"hi, how are you?" she asked. a smile on his face when he finally saw her....and a good conversation took place over a shared breakfast. their laughter echoes in a seem empty restaurant.

beep..beep..beep.. he checked his mobile phone
beep..beep..beep.. he read again

... she's silent. he looked at her... silence...

"i'm sorry. i have to marry her. my family... they're important to me. i hope you understand."

as he left his engagement ring in the table, his eyes were in tears. there was a blank expression on her face.

ahhh love....